This morning, on the car ride to school, my daughter asked me, “Mom, am I soft-spoken?”
Without thinking, I answered, “Yeah, you are.”
And then—click.
Wait. What?
I turned to her and said, “No. You’re a truth speaker. Why do you ask?”
She shrugged. “I just saw it written somewhere.”
And maybe that was all it was. A word she randomly came across, nothing more. But I couldn’t let it go. Because soft-spoken isn’t just some neutral descriptor. It’s a mold that girls get shaped into before they even realize it’s happening.
We hear it all the time. Be polite. Be sweet. Don’t interrupt. Use your inside voice. Let someone else talk. Don’t be so aggressive. Don’t be too much.
We’re told to soften our edges, quiet our instincts, be a little easier to swallow.
I already knew this. I didn’t need to go to social media to understand that this is what society pushes. But I wanted to see just how deep this ran. I wanted proof.
So I searched soft-spoken.
And the first video I clicked on?
Some woman saying, “This is why you can’t get a man. You’re too loud. You’re too opinionated. Be soft-spoken!”
And it just confirmed everything I already knew.
This is what our girls are absorbing—not just in direct messages, but in the undertones of every comment about being “nice,” every compliment for being “sweet,” every subtle nudge to be easier, smaller, more palatable.
No. Absolutely not.
Soft-Spoken is a Coded Word
Soft-spoken sounds like a compliment. It sounds delicate, gentle, polite. And in a world that often equates femininity with being quiet, it’s a word that can feel like praise.
But let’s be real—soft-spoken is a coded word.
It’s a polite way of saying easy to overlook. A way of rewarding girls for being agreeable, for staying small.
But soft-spoken doesn’t get heard.
Soft-spoken gets talked over. Soft-spoken gets dismissed. Soft-spoken gets left behind.
Soft-spoken doesn’t take up space. It doesn’t challenge the status quo. And it definitely doesn’t hold the door open for the next girl who needs to walk through it.
And this isn’t about being naturally quiet. I don’t care if my daughter speaks in whispers or in bold declarations. What matters is that when she speaks, she knows her voice carries weight.
Because whether she’s loud or soft, careful or passionate, she deserves to be heard.
Truth-Spoken: Rewriting the Narrative
This is about knowing that when she does speak, it matters.
This is about making sure that when she opens her mouth, it’s not because she feels allowed to—but because she knows she has the right to be heard.
I want her to be truth-spoken.
I want her to know it so deeply, so instinctively, that anytime she sees or hears the word soft-spoken, her brain auto-corrects it.
Truth-spoken. Truth-spoken. Truth-spoken.
Because truth-spoken isn’t about being loud. It’s about speaking with conviction.
It’s about knowing that whether you whisper or shout, whether you stand on a stage or sit in a corner, your words carry weight. Your voice matters.
And I want this to be automatic—not just for my daughter, but for every girl, every woman who has ever been told to be softer, gentler, easier to handle.
We don’t have to be soft-spoken.
We have to be truth-spoken.
And the world is going to listen.
This is Bigger Than My Daughter
This isn’t just for my daughter. It’s for yours. It’s for your niece, your best friend, your younger self who was told to lower her voice, to not interrupt, to let others speak first.
It’s for all of us who were ever asked to be less so we could fit into someone else’s version of “good.”
Let’s raise truth speakers. Let’s be truth speakers.
Because soft-spoken girls grow up to be quiet women.
And truth-spoken girls?
They change the world.
