A few months ago, I found myself at a Beabadoobee concert with my teens and their friends. There I was, surrounded by a sea of teens belting out every lyric like their lives depended on it. Meanwhile, I stood there—completely clueless about who this rising star was. Yes, I bought the tickets. Yes, I was rocking out (or trying to). But as the music filled the room, it hit me: I had no idea who this star was or why she meant so much to everyone around me.
So, naturally, I Googled her. Turns out, this 90s-inspired indie-pop star wrote her breakout hit “Coffee” after her dad handed her a guitar while she was suspended from school. That little nugget stopped me in my tracks. Here was someone whose life turned on a dime—not because of perfect grades or a polished plan, but because someone trusted her to figure it out. It got me thinking about my own teens, their self-directed education, and how much of parenting comes down to trusting our kids.
Picture this: Your teen gets suspended from school. What’s your move? Ground them? Lecture them? Double down on rules? Most parents might reach for discipline, but Beabadoobee’s dad handed her a guitar. Iconic.
Instead of seeing the suspension as a failure, he saw it as an opportunity. That guitar became her spark, and the song she wrote, “Coffee,” went viral, launching her into stardom. Watching her on stage, I couldn’t help but think: this is what I hope for my own teens—not the suspension, of course, but the chance to discover their passions without the constant societal pressure to fit into a mold or follow the status quo. Sometimes, life’s detours are where the magic happens
As a parent of teens who haven’t followed the conventional path, I’ve had plenty of “Am I doing this right?” moments. My kids unschooled their whole lives until three years ago, when they started at a Sudbury School. It’s a model built around self-directed learning: no tests, no grades—just kids following their curiosity while navigating community life. Dreamy, right? It is—but it also requires a hefty dose of parental trust.
Beabadoobee’s story is a reminder of why I chose this path. Learning isn’t confined to classrooms or measured by GPAs. True education happens when kids have the space to discover their spark—just like she did with that guitar. Every time I worry about going against the grain, I think about people like Walt Disney and John D. Rockefeller, who both left high school and carved their own paths to extraordinary success. And now Beabadoobee, whose suspension led her to find her voice.
Their stories are a powerful reminder that success doesn’t come from following a prescribed path—it comes from having the freedom to explore, grow, and define what success looks like for yourself. Traditional schooling doesn’t guarantee success or happiness.
That night wasn’t just about Beabadoobee. It was about being there with my teens, watching them light up and soak in every moment. Parenting teens is a lot like being at a concert. You’re not in charge; you’re in the crowd, cheering them on as they take center stage.
Sometimes, the most important thing we can do as parents is step back and trust them to lead. Beabadoobee’s story is proof of that. Her suspension wasn’t the end of the road—it was the spark that set her creativity on fire. Her dad didn’t panic; he handed her a guitar. And she figured it out.
As a parent, this is the pep talk I didn’t know I needed. Our kids are capable of so much more than we give them credit for. They don’t need us to micromanage—they need us to trust, support, and celebrate them every step of the way.
Months later, I still think about that concert. It wasn’t just the music (though it was incredible). It was the reminder that success doesn’t follow a script and that sometimes the best thing we can do is step back and let our kids lead.
So, if you’re deep in the trenches of parenting teens and wondering if you’re doing it “right,” take a page from Beabadoobee’s dad. Trust them. Hand them the metaphorical guitar. And maybe take them to a concert—you might just find yourself learning something in the glow of the stage lights.
