Several years ago, my now almost 15-year-old daughter was a struggling reader. Everyone in my family was worried she’d never learn how to read, and that our offbeat school, which lacked a standard curriculum, meant she’d be stuck using voice-to-text forever.
Fast-forward a few years, and my daughter is an avid reader, unlike many of her friends who have been forced to read countless books for school, many of which they couldn’t retain. Probably because they weren’t interested in the subject matter.
My kid, on the other hand, isn’t being forced to read. And I don’t tell her what to read, either. She reads exactly what she wants which, in general, is adult novels with a lot of romance and sex. Yup. That’s right. My 14-year-old is reading 750 pages of smut on the regular — like one lengthy sex-filled book every week — and I’m not the least bit worried about it. I’m certainly not going to go prying books out of her hand, or trying to convince her to read something a little less adult, either.
For starters, I’m not that big on censorship. But I also know that at 14, my daughter knows what sex is, either way. When I was her age, I was not only thinking about sex, but talking about it constantly, reading about it in magazines, and watching any risque movies I somehow procure a VHS of. Teenagers think about sex — it’s been that way since the beginning of time.
Likewise, sex and relationships aren’t something we should try and keep teens from. They are normal, healthy parts of life. Is healthy sex always represented in what we see on TV or what we read? Of course not. But it takes eons to learn what “healthy” in regards to relationships looks like anyway. A few (okay, maybe a few hundred) racey novels isn’t going to alter that. Experience in life and in love is what will.
Still, I’m not just a little unconcerned about what my daughter is reading. I’m thrilled that she’s reading at all, and I don’t care what the subject matter is. Truly. I know that teens have to want to do anything they are going to do regularly. And when it comes to reading or learning, it has to be something that’s interesting to them — that’s engaging and expands their worldview.
Chances are, that won’t always be novels that are heavy on the love/sex/romance. Her interests will evolve, and so will what she reads. Right now, though, she’s become such an avid and interested reader — not only blowing through novels but recounting the drama for me on the car ride to school — I feel pretty certain that the hobby itself is likely to stick. And I just think: how freeing knowing that, even on a lowkey Saturday night when there is nothing to do that you don’t have to be bored.
My daughter reads constantly, and without me telling her to, or asking her, too. There’s only one issue: that she’s constantly asking (pressuring? coercing?) me into buying her new books. Of course, we utilize the library, too. But the books on her reading list are always the hot new adult novels that haven’t made it to the library shelves just yet. It means that, because I want to encourage my daughter’s hobby, I spend a lot of money on new books.
Truthfully, though, no matter what she’s reading, it’s a small price to pay to watch her regularly get lost in a book. It took me ages, well into adulthood really, to love reading. I spent most of my teen years trying desperately and forcefully to avoid it. I’d skip assignments or skim the chapter to get some of the exam questions right and pass the class. I did the bare minimum, and I got by. But I never loved to read, likely, because I was always being forced to do it, and forced to read something that didn’t speak to me.
My kid, on the other hand, already knows how much fun books can be. And I love that for her. And a little bit for me. No, she’s not reading Shakespeare. But she’s reading… constantly. She’s engaged, expanding, and having a great time. And as far as I’m concerned, bring on the smut.
